Love to be able to think this fast on my feet.  I'm sure everyone has been asked a stupid question like this one...enjoy..

Answers can be startling.  But then questions can be stupid.  For instance:

Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dog and was about to check out.  A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.  What did she think I had?

So, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog; I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before awakening in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.  (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me.  I told her oh no - I stepped off a curb to sniff a Great Dane's butt and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.